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mer-squared:

clientsfromhell:

Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”

Client: “Is e-mail internet”?

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”

Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”

Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”

Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”

Client: “Open what?”

Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”

Client: “My…my…?”

Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”

Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”

Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”

Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”

Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”

Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”

Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”

Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”

Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”

Client: “My what?”

Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.


Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”

Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”

Me: “An error message?”

Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”

Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.”

Client: “Move it?”

Me: “Yes. Move it.”

Client: “My e-mail!”

This post gave me a fucking ulcer.

keksetsu:

prinsaws:

ipecacandcivetoil:

ipecacandcivetoil:

so many gifs of ostriches doing their mating dance for humans but did u know

they actually did a study on this

and ostriches repeatedly found humans more attractive than other ostriches

yes

ostrich farmers have trouble setting up their ostriches with each other because they’re just not interested, they want their farmers instead

it’s incredible

also, ostriches show notable sexual preference

some male ostriches will only display for male humans, some will display for anybody, some will display for female humans only

I can’t believe ostriches are reverse furries

great we gotta kinkshame the fuckin birds now

naamahdarling:

purplepints:

cellular-thirst:

catscatsholyshitcats:

katnissdoesnotfollowback:

corpsefluid:

hmsindecision:

feeltheberd:

im crying

Do you know how many dogs I’ve met that get scared or anxious around men because in their previous home men hit them? A lot, and they are very protective of the women who have adopted them now.

Men who are violent towards women are often violent towards animals as well. They think we’re all chattel. If a man wants you to choose between your dog or cat or him, dump the guy. Those animals will love you for the rest of your life, loyal and true.

Actually, I have something to add.

The other day I saw a story where a woman was asking why her dogs had suddenly started growling at her boyfriend whenever he was in the same room as her son.

And my immediate thought was ‘that boyfriend has hurt the kid somehow.’

Spoilers: that was exactly the case.

Trust ur dogs when they say something is off.

The first time my sister came to visit, via plane, after I got my dog, pupper growled at her and wouldn’t go near her for the first day. Next visit was by car (two day drive)and pupper LOVED my sister. They snuggled and played and none of us could figure out why the change. We thought maybe the scent of my sisters cat had lingered on her clothes, making that first visit a rough one. Whereas when she came by car, the scent had had time to wear off. Well that was partially true…

Fast forward about six months when I went north to visit my family. My sister walked into my parents’ house and pupper ran to greet my sister. Stopped dead in her tracks and started growling and barking. Hackles raised, full protection mode. My sisters husband had just walked in behind her.

My precious puppy wanted NOTHING to do with him. She barked, growled, ran away, and sat between him and my sister. Y'all my dog had spent maybe a weekend a half around my sister but protected her like this was her flesh and blood.

Eventually, my sister filed for divorce on grounds of “Extreme and repeated mental, emotional, and sexual abuse.” Divorce was final in less than a month because her claims were substantiated.

Trust the dog, honey. They KNOW.

I’ve never owned dogs, but I used to work with horses (which are a lot like big dogs).

There was this one horse I worked with named Tonto. He was a doll. He followed me like a puppy, snuck treats out of my pocket, he was the sweetest thing. We were practically inseparable.

A guy I was considering dating came to visit me one day, and Tonto wanted NOTHING to do with him. Normally well behaved, he shoved himself between us and would NOT let this guy near me. He was stomping, acting really aggressive, and tried to bite the guy. This horse was practically dragging me back toward the barn. At that moment, despite being like, 17, I knew something was up, and ultimately things didn’t pan out for guy and me.

A year later I found out he had lied about his age (he said he was 18 but he was actually 27) he was arrested for sexually assaulting an 11 year old girl.

TRUST THE ANIMALS.

ALWAYS TRUST THE BABS

Animals recognize predators.

The reply with the mastiff gets me every single time. I’m not a dog person but my god, they are Good Animals.

dragonfox-in-a-teacup:

weasowl:

dopeluminarydreamer:

the-future-now:

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

Reblog if you:

  • Have an iPhone and are in need of repairs
  • Have a friend with that problem
  • Hate Apple and are more than happy to spite them in some way

No one will know which is it

This guy inspired me to repair my own macbook. First of all, you should know that I am not… like, I have to look up HOW to look up what my computer specifications are. Tech, that ware either soft or hard, is not a subject in which I experience comfort or competence.

But my puppy peed on my keyboard, and I asked the apple store, or the fucking mac cafe, or the godsdamn Computer House Chill Zone or whatever cute ass name they have for their bullshit store, and they said it would be TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO REPLACE MY KEYBOARD. I’m not even exaggerating.

So I asked the internet, well how hard IS it to repair? And I saw this guy’s video, and while I am no techie, I AM fueled by spite, so I was all “oh, they do that shit on purpose specifically so they can charge me $1200 bucks or make me buy a new computer hunh? FUCK THEM” and I bought all the tools I needed for about $25 and I bought all the parts I needed for about another $25 and I watched a few tutorial videos, and I replaced my own keyboard.

So, once you are doing the actual deed, it becomes pretty obvious that they are finding creative ways to make this much harder than it has to be on purpose. On thing that stood out to me is, instead of all the tiny screws being the same size, there are about two dozen very slightly different sizes. They could easily be all the same size, or like, two sizes at most, but no.

These mother fuckers will take a panel that screws into place and they’ll use a different size screw for each corner. They are so close that you almost cannot tell them apart visually, but they each will only screw into the matching corner. Like, it’s a pretty clear “fuck you” to anyone trying to do repairs.

anyway, this guy is also fueled by spite, and doing holy work, and I have mad respect

This is awesome. Man is doing good ass deeds 24/7 because he’s giving people control.

(Source: youtube.com)

overthestars-and-offtoneverland:

lollytea:

i like how writing realistic worlds and characters is so important for so many writers to the point where they agonize over it. meanwhile lemony snicket was just like “death to reality. im gonna write this whole ass series and with god as my witness, absolutely fucking NOBODY is gonna act like a person.”

Daniel Handler, after downing whatever the hell he was on: The baby has piranha teeth and can take a trained swordswoman in a fight. 

All of us: Fucking genius. 

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